One post a day, helps my faith stay

Pen to paper, keyboard to screen, however we choose to vent…I find that working through this journey is easing up by even the slightest bit by putting my feelings into words. 

Everyone, from my family to my therapist, has told me to take this journey day by day. So every time I wake up, I try to start fresh. New day, new feelings. And it is all dependent on little man’s mood. 

Today, we focused on each other while he lay in his crib. It lasted about 2 minutes, but it was two minutes of awesome. He knew I was there and he was listening to me. I can’t express the emotion behind what that feels like when I wasn’t even sure my baby knew who I was. I know now, he knows. 

Then, as the day goes on, my feelings fluctuate. I don’t know what my one year old will be like. I don’t know if therapy will work. The slow progress will certainly get a parent down. I was always hoping for the light switch moment. The moment when it flicks on and he just gets it. I learn a little more each day that might not happen with little man. 

But I’m encouraged by his little moments. Hoping they will eventually turn into big moments. 

He knows me. At least I have that. 

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