All clear…now on to Genetics!

I need to breathe. It was difficult to work today. I spoke to Carter’s pediatrician and every test has come back clear. So now, even with no results, she has referred us to a geneticist in New Orleans. Thank you baby Jesus. 

I’ve been waiting and wishing for this day. Now it’s here. I called the geneticist and they will be calling me back to confirm the appointment. I finally might get to figure out the source of his issues. I know there is a chance I might not, BUT I will feel confident that I am doing everything in my power to help my son. 

Everything.

This is a big day for us. My anxiety level just thinking about it is extremely high. It’s hard to breathe. 

I’m happy and sad at the same time. I sort of wish we would have found something from the tests so we wouldn’t have to keep searching, but I’m also happy they found nothing. Because that means he’s cleared on a ton of different levels. 

Still we search. I will search until he is comfortable and happy. 

( I CANNOT get enough of this sweet thang on snap chat) 

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Well that was short-lived

I honestly don’t know how much of this I can continue to handle. I feel so numb. So lost and confused. 

I decided to switch pediatricians for Carter because I was very unhappy with who we were seeing. 

His first appointment was this morning. It was a hot mess. Don’t get me wrong, the pediatrician was just what we needed. She is extremely proactive and our appointments for this month have doubled. 

She sent us directly to the lab this morning for blood tests and a chromosome analysis. I should hear back from her today. 

I’m tired of holding my baby down while he screams because he doesn’t understand what is happening. 

She is also recommending us to see a geneticist, which I figured we would have to do. 

In addition, we have now an upper endoscopy scheduled along with a swallow study. 

All of this information that I have to keep up with is wearing me down, it’s scaring me. I can’t be without my child. 

I don’t want to imagine a life without him. I don’t know how to be strong anymore. 

I decided to come home from work to just be with him today. Just watch him and play with him and be with him. Because I am terrified of what’s next.