Hello, Wednesday. Please don’t end.

I am terrified of this day ending. I’ve never wanted a day to drag on as much as I do right now. 

The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I wake up, the sooner my sweet baby has to be sedated…the sooner I get results. 

I’ve never been more scared. 

God, and it’s like I’m fighting myself. I want to know so bad so I can help him, but my stomach is in my throat knowing I’m going to get a phone call before this week ends. 

I want, and don’t want, that phone call. 

I’m trying to drown myself in laughter just to get by today. Trying to think about anything but tomorrow. 

And it’s difficult. 

I’m just going to spend tonight in my baby’s crib. Sleeping. With him by my side. 

Day 1: We survived

Today has come and gone. Early Steps application was a quick process. Now we wait to see if little man will qualify, even though we know he will. 

The evaluator will be out in 8-10 days to assess. 

4 more days to go. 

Tomorrow we are putting little man through the EEG. I say putting through because I don’t think this little man deserves it.

I’m actually more concerned that they want us to keep him up from 5:00am until the noon test. Little man is going to be an angry man. I don’t want to deal with that wrath!

Hopefully tomorrow comes and goes, as well. Positive vibes.